Lessons from Papa - Lesson 2

This post is part of a series memorializing my dad, Rolando Vergel de Dios, who passed away unexpectedly on November 29th, 2024. For the full context it’s best to start at the beginning: Lesson 1.

Black and white photo of Papa posing with a cigarette in front of a wall for his entry in the Asian Institute of Management yearbook c. 1978

Black and white photo of Papa posing next to his motorcycle at a building at the Asian Institute of Management c. 1978

Papa looking cool for his yearbook photos at the Asian Institute of Management c. 1978

My uncles, my cousins, and several of Papa’s friends all described him as effortlessly cool. Whether it was stories of him dancing the night away at the famous club that was the epicenter of Manila’s 70s disco culture known as Cocobanana. Or donning a helmet and carving his way through the snarled gridlock of Manila’s roadways on his Honda Scrambler motorcycle. Or his Tom Selleck of Manila mustache. They all idolized him for his ability to exude this maverick persona.

Part of that devil-may-care air-of-cool was always having a cigarette in hand. From what I remember by the early 90s, about the time he was going to turn 40, he had been a pack-a-day guy for almost 20 years. The 90s is also when big tobacco was finally coming clean about what cigarettes could do to you and how much damage they could do to not just you, but the people around you inhaling your secondhand smoke.

By this time, I had also already started showing signs of childhood asthma. It was clear to Papa that the cigarettes had to go. But, knowing that kicking the habit would be a high-effort endeavor, he figured out that he could use the occasion to extract a little more value out of his son. He decided he would make me a deal: you get straight As on your next report card and I’ll quit smoking. A heavy burden to put on a 1st grader.

It was the beginning of the school year and it would be six weeks before my next report card. I desperately wanted Papa to be healthier and I knew that the cigarettes weren’t good for my breathing either, so I worked diligently for that 6 weeks and got my straight As. The day after I presented him with my report card he quit cold turkey.

His methods may have been questionable, but I can’t argue that they weren’t effective.

The lesson I learned from Papa that day: people will run through brick walls for you if you figure out what motivates them.

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